Warding Off Loneliness by Joining a Writing Community

Source: © Nick Morrison | Unsplash

The last time I was part of an ongoing writing group was over 10 years ago in a regular writing workshop at the Westside Y in Manhattan. I was working in Queens and once a week, I’d brave rush-hour traffic and drive over the Queensboro Bridge, through midtown and Central Park to the West Side. Sometimes it would take me as long as an hour to find a parking spot, but I always did. Then at 9 PM, I’d get back in my car for the drive back to Westchester.

I had to pull out after two years for several reasons. One was financial. I was charging the classes on my American Express card, which I eventually maxed out. I had to admit to myself that I couldn’t afford to keep enrolling in the classes. Secondly, one night on the way home, I dozed off behind the wheel and would have gone off the road, except the side of the road was lined with strips of metal with little points and when my car hit that, I was jolted awake. That scared me and at the next class, I dropped out.

This past fall, I took a couple of writing classes at a new writing center and particularly enjoyed a class with one instructor whom I’ll call Maddie. I found out that she teaches a private Advanced Personal Writing Class, so I vowed to register for the next class when it started. We’re three classes in now and it’s the highlight of my week.

Loneliness has become an epidemic in this country. A report from the U.S. Surgeon General states that “Living in isolation reduces our chances of survival and social isolation increases the risk for premature mortality by 29%.” The same report states that “Poor social relationships, social isolation, and loneliness can increase your risk of heart disease by 29% and risk of stroke by 32%.”

When one is part of a memoir class, it is different than any other kind of writing class because people are writing about their innermost experiences. We get to know each other’s secrets and vulnerabilities much more quickly than would normally occur. When writers come together, there is an inherent non-judgmental and accepting bond formed. We don’t judge each other’s experiences or compare because each of us has been through our own stuff. Our job is to make each other’s work better and make each other a better writer.

In my workshop 10 years ago, we critiqued 15 pages of each other’s writing. In Maddie’s workshop, we critique 50 pages. We have reading assignments and other homework as well. To be in this workshop requires dedication and commitment. I didn’t know if I’d be able to keep up with my full-time job and my other two part-time jobs and other commitments, but I’m not only managing but enjoying the process immensely and my writing is improving. Isn’t that the goal?

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A 2019 study, “Writing Groups: An Analysis of Participants’ Expectations and Activities,” identified some key trends:

• Four major categories of expected writing group activities – skill-based, draft-based, time-based, and emotion-based activities – emerged from the majority of interview and survey responses.
• When participants’ expected activities aligned closely with actual activities completed in their groups, the participants were more likely to be satisfied with their groups.
• Satisfaction rates did not decline greatly when expected writing group activities and actual activities did not align. Instead, participants often appreciated the unexpected ways in which writing groups diverged from their initial expectations.

The last trend holds the key to the unexpected benefits that emerge from a writing group, and I believe these to be the emotion-based activities referred to in the first point. I feel a bond with my fellow writers, not just over the activity of writing, but for the life experiences they have endured.

I’m already planning to take Maddie’s next class and I hope my classmates are planning to do the same so we can continue with our cohesive group and I can hear the next part of their stories.

Thanks for reading.