No Longer Supported – Bike Snob NYC

Additional to yesterday’s put up, and digitization laying waste to humanity, do you ever get the sensation that you simply’ll sooner or later be pedaling by way of a blighted hellscape of bricked Vanmoofs and inoperable Hen scooters?

Yea, the time shall come when all these cursed mobility corporations shall go bankrupt. Severed from their deserted apps, these infernal contraptions shall not operate. All over the place, legions of the possessed shall fall face first upon the pavement as their conveyances fail:

And on at the present time solely the true believers–those that trip human-powered bicycles–shall be spared. Smugly, we will survey the panorama with perverse satisfaction as we pedal in excellent circles anyplace we select. The clipless, the toe-clipped, and the flat-pedaled alike shall rejoice collectively and forged apart their meaningless variations. The Roadies shall dance with the Retrogrouches. The Bikepackers shall lie with the Lovely Godzillas. Metal and crabon shall not conflict; as an alternative it shall be solid collectively into frames of unparalleled power and a featherbed trip high quality, laterally stiff and eternally compliant. The Time-Touring Retro-Fred shall lastly return from the Planet Tridork, and a Nice Peace will reign for a thousand years:

Or one thing.

However sure, the times when you could possibly maintain a machine going simply so long as you have been in a position to struggle off the rust are disappearing within the rearview mirror, as now they’re all “sensible” and as such must be related to a central mind:

Fuck it, I’m shopping for a Plymouth:

Fortuitously for cyclists, there are nonetheless choices for these of us who refuse to relinquish the simplicity of yesteryear:

The Homer began life as an upright rambler:

However it’s since advanced right into a form of be-fendered sport roadster and I have to say it excels in its present guise. It feels comfy but quick and lightweight on its ft, and between the lengthy wheelbase, the huge gear vary, and the drop bars, hitting the climbs really feels good–you simply roll over that crumbling highway floor and maintain downshifting seemingly without end with that silky-smooth friction shifter such as you’re sinking right into a thick down mattress cowl.

It actually makes you surprise what all that fancy trendy highway bike tech is for, type of like while you drink a glass of cool, refreshing water and surprise what the hell the purpose of alkaline water is:

I admit I additionally didn’t know who Andrew Jackson was after I noticed this truck, and within the strategy of discovering out I got here throughout this video of him using inconsiderately in Tokyo:

He’s a formidable rider and I did my greatest to take pleasure in it, however I saved anticipating him to collide with a pedestrian on these little aspect streets, which made me nervous:

However at the very least he was sporting a helmet.