Miami Heat Guard Terry Rozier Eats Spaghetti and Sugar Sandwiches

What do the newest Miami Heat guard and Buddy Hobbs, Will Ferrell’s character in the movie Elf, have in common?

Apparently, much more than you thought.

The Miami Heat acquired Charlotte Hornets guard Terry Rozier last week in exchange for guard Kyle Lowry and a protected 2027 first-round pick. The long-awaited move sent Lowry and his ebbing on-the-court performance packing as the Heat locked up a fast-paced, offense-first guard who grew up idolizing Dwyane Wade.

But by now, you know that. That’s old news.

Here at New Times, we pride ourselves on finding the story within the story. That means sometimes exposing people and asking hard-hitting questions, such as this — should a special counsel investigate Terry Rozier’s claims that his favorite meal is a sandwich with spaghetti and red sauce mixed with ranch and sugar?

You read that right; Rozier, a human man, said he eats spaghetti covered in sugar — so much sugar — between two slices of bread. But no crust, because that would be disgusting!

Terry Rozier (@GodsGift_3) said he’s evolved to making spaghetti, ranch and sugar sandwiches. When mom makes a big pot = sandwiches for days

— Jeff Greer (@jeffgreer) February 25, 2014

 We hereby call for a complete shutdown of the Miami Heat cafeteria until we figure out what is going on.

Hear me now and believe me later — this is a real thing. Our source? Rozier himself, who eight years ago, as a Celtics rookie, claimed on the Starters podcast to make a sandwich he calls delicious, but most people would call disgusting.

Watch and see for yourself.

Even fully knowing what was coming, we were not prepared for those five minutes and eighteen seconds.

“Just a little sprinkle,” he said before dumping enough sugar to bake a cake on his spaghetti.

At the time of the sandwich debut, the Celtics asked Rozier’s teammates what they thought of the odd culinary concoction. The inquiry was met with comments ranging from a deadpan “Nah, Nah, Nah,” to a full-on nope (“I ain’t trying that, Terry”), to a deliberation of sorts from one player who said, “I like spaghetti. I like bread. I like sugar. And I like ranch. But on the side, not together.”

According to Rozier, to top it all off, he normally enjoys a good honey bun and hot Cheetos on the side with his family favorite.

Just as Miami media (see: us!) is intrigued now, Boston’s NESN.com was inquisitive when first hearing about Rozier’s favorite cuisine. In the name of good journalism, a brave yet underprepared Michaela Vernava did investigative reporting and tried the sandwich herself.

Spoiler alert: We doubt she was hooked and is eating “The Rozier” at a local deli these days.

Of course, anyone who has seen Will Ferrell’s classic Christmas movie Elf knows of a similarly mind-bending dish, one involving spaghetti doused in maple syrup. We just never thought we would see this sort of abomination in the wild, much less as the favorite food of an NBA player.

Longtime Heat fans might remember in 2015 when New Times detailed another Heat player’s oddball favorite: Justise Winslow’s homemade recipe of toasted multigrain bread, peanut butter, grape jelly, and jalapeño peppers.

That article led to restaurants actually carrying the specialty. So, if “The Rozier” pops up in a food truck near you in the near future, we’re sorry. Or you’re welcome. Let us know which one it is once you’ve tried it.