Miami-Area Mayor Eulogizes His Dog’s Balls on Instagram

In his Instagram posts, Ruzzano has advertised a few Rolex watches for sale, quipped about “coffee cannabis with the mayor,” and described a Las Vegas trip during which he was “spanked by two female cops.”

On Monday, February 5, he added to his catalog of eye-catching fodder by treating his constituents to a close-up of his dog Max’s spread-eagled crotch, testicles front and center.

“Say goodbye to Deez Nuts,” Ruzzano wrote, noting that the dog was scheduled to be neutered the following morning.

Max has had a rough year so far. Ruzzano recalled in the post that the dog was hit by a car several weeks ago and broke his leg. Ahead of the planned neutering surgery, the mayor asked for well wishes: “Let’s all send Max a good luck!”

Reached by New Times, Ruzzano says his family adopted the beagle-dachsund mix from a Miami-area shelter in December 2022 along with a chihuahua. He describes Max as “an awesome little dog,” the youngest of four canines that share the Ruzzano home with a few pet ferrets and “a couple cats.”

The mayor closed the conversation by promising to share a post-op photo of the neutered guy.

Since 2012, Ruzzano has served on Margate’s city commission, which has appointed him to the (largely ceremonial) mayorship four times. A construction contractor and New Jersey native, Ruzzano is a fitness buff who peppers his social media with city updates and off-color humor. (He calls himself the “world’s strongest mayor,” citing his ability to bench-press 400 pounds.)

On a given night, you might find him posting about buying thousands of popsicles for the city’s Fourth of July parade or documenting his weightlifting routines.

“Residents love it. It just keeps people interested, that’s all. Some may not like it, but I really don’t give a shit,” he says.

In honor of Ruzzano and Max’s now-departed huevos, we mined Hizzoner’s Instagram for choice posts.

The Vegas Spanking

Tommy’s 2023 Las Vegas trip was eventful. 

Not only did he win at the gambling tables, but he enjoyed a ziplining excursion, went on a rock-climbing adventure with the fam, “picked up a Russian girl over [his] head,” and was “spanked by 2 female cops.”

He was also “approved by a hooker.” (The mayor assures New Times that this meant nothing more than a quick photo-op with a Vegas escort.)

Mayoral Watch

In the market for a luxury timepiece? Mayor Ruzzano has you covered — and just in time for Valentine’s Day. Last week Ruzzano posted four Rolexes for sale on Instagram, including a gold Yachtmaster and a blue-faced Submariner in “great shape.”

Garage Grenade

Back in 2022, Ruzzano posted about a scare at city hall after a senior citizen turned in a World War II-era grenade to the Margate police department. A local family had found the armament in their garage while rummaging through old belongings.

WSVN reported that a bomb squad was called in and that military officials took possession of the explosive, which was believed to be inert.

“City Hall was closed down and bomb was taken away safely,” Ruzzano posted.

Blazing With the Mayor

Ruzzano jokingly suggested that instead of a tame coffee-hour sit-down with constituents, a weed session would be a more apropos means of getting to know the Margate official.

The post dates back to 2022, several years after medical marijuana was legalized in Florida, so kindly reserve moral judgments about the mayor’s cannabis quip.

K-9 Unit Surprise

Regardless of whether Margate residents agree with Ruzzano’s politics or his comedic online persona, it’s hard to deny his affection for man’s best friend.

One Christmas season, he posted a video of himself dropping off a giant bone for a Margate Police Department K-9 unit. After some familial debate on where best to deposit the gift and Ruzzano double-checking the patrol vehicle to ensure a canine was inside, the police dog lunged from the back seat and nearly scared the piss out of Ruzzano.

Wholesome!

Ruzzano’s Gun Gets Yoinked

Last October, Ruzzano disclosed that a Sig Sauer P-238 pistol stolen from his home had been recovered in a carjacking investigation in the Miami area. He claimed no one was injured in the incident and that three defendants were sentenced and “deported.”

“After all that, it’s safe to say, I’ll be receiving my gun,” the mayor noted.