by Summer! It’s that very special time of the year when our climate most closely resembles that of Hell. In Boston, [at the time of this writing] temps have been consistently in the mid-90s with 50-75% humidity. Some people don’t mind it, personally, I can’t stand it. I’ve lived in New England my whole life so I’ll take Hoth over Tatooine any day. The constant swelter makes me uncomfortable, irritable, and constantly drained. (People from other parts of the US are probably thinking “Hey, that’s how New Englanders always are!”)
Everybody’s all sweaty, the beach is overcrowded, and any time-off from work approaches like the event horizon of a black hole. And frustratingly, at times, the heat can even make some of my favorite foods like burgers and pizza seem heavy or repulsive. That’s a legit problem for a guy who writes for a blog that’s mostly about junk food.
Well thank heavens the pride and joy of Massachusetts, Dunkin’ Donuts, has a pretty good idea of what I’m going through. They’ve freshened up their menu with some summer snacks for people like me, so that we don’t have to skip breakfast with our morning iced coffee.
Here’s what they came up with!
KEY LIME SQUARE DONUT
A square plain donut with a lime jelly-like filling and topped with icing and graham cracker crumbles- sounds pretty good to me!
It’s super sweet with mild tartness from the filling, which is a ringer for what you’d expect in a key lime pie. The crumble tastes like coffee cake, adding notes of cinnamon into the mix.
Not bad at all! Certainly a preferable alternative to, say, a Boston Creme on a hot day. It’s probably just me, but the key lime filling gave me a real hankering for a margarita or six.
LEMON CROISSANT DONUT
I was excited about trying this one because I’m a big fan of Dunks’ Glazed Croissant Donut. If you haven’t had one before, it’s mostly the textural differences that make it different from the regular glazed, but it delivers. One of my bucket list items is to take two and use them as cheeseburger buns. Yeah, I should probably keep that one towards the bottom of the list.
Huh. The graham cracker crumble is crashing this party, too. Graham cracker crumble, aren’t you having your own party next door? What are you doing here?
this looks like a school picture
A few bites leave this question unanswered. These cinnamon notes are kind of just hanging around, getting in the way of the excellent taste of the croissant donut and dulling the lemon flavor. On top of that, it makes the two flavors too similar. A shame.
LEMON POPPYSEED MUFFIN
Wow, I can’t even remember the last time I had a muffin. On their own, they’re just crumbly lumps of bread with sugar and little pieces of fruit added- like the Great Depression equivalent of a cupcake. Truly, the most bland and easily passed over offering in all of breakfastdom.
The Lemon Poppyseed Muffin doesn’t rock the boat, but it’s really not bad either. Soft, even crumb, and well-balanced flavors. It fulfills it purpose as a light summer breakfast option, and that’s pretty much all I can say about it.
MAPLE SAUSAGE BREAKFAST SANDWICH
Wait, whaaat? Since when is maple a summer flavor? Don’t mess with me, DD, this is definitely a fall flavor.
Well, it doesn’t matter because this sandwich was easily the best of all these offerings and I’d gladly have it any time of the year.
I ordered mine on toast, which is a nod to my usual go-to at Dunks, the legendary Big N’ Toasted. The maple flavor of the sausage tasted a bit artificial, and the sweetness lingered a little long, but those are nitpicky details. It’s a delicious sandwich.
So to wrap it up, here’s the report card.
LEMON POPPYSEED MUFFIN: B.
KEY LIME SQUARE: B.
LEMON CROISSANT DONUT: D.
MAPLE SAUSAGE BREAKFAST SANDWICH: A!
If any of these sound like they might tickle your fancy, I wouldn’t wait around to try them. I was at the grocery store last week and they were putting Halloween candy on the shelves. In the business world, fall is just around the corner and soon it’ll be pumpkin spice every-damn-thing-everywhere. You won’t be able to take a shit without it smelling like pumpkin spice! So get all your summer treats while you can. And try to stay cool 😉
Review by sl33zy
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