The Magpie Diary: March 3, 2024.

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Elizabeth Gilbert has a one-line writing prompt (discovered via Leslie):

Dear love, what would you have me know today?

On Monday, I sat down to the words, and these fell out:

A few years ago, I was in an intense situation with a friend. I could not make heads or tails of it: I experienced a groundlessness in which I questioned myself, my heart, my motivations. I sought the counsel of my most trusted, and heard many well-intended things that seemed to only further complicate my vision–a mixture of unreconcilable “care for yourself first” and “let it go” messages. Somewhere in there, a dear friend wrote to me and said: “Trust yourself in these situations. Keep that in mind when you’re ping-ponged between pleasing everyone. And know that it is absolutely not your job to please everyone, despite the fact that you do it with grace and smarts.”

Even now, the words wrap me like a hug. (Maybe you need to hear it today, too.) The notion of “trusting myself” had not come naturally. I had in fact sought the imprimatur of other people that I trusted because I was so certain I was misreading the situation, mishandling myself. It felt unnatural to stop and think: “But what, underneath it all, do I really think? When I discard those guard petals related to meeting the expectations of persons A and B? What is at the tender center?” The exercise was terrifying and then empowering because it forced me to recognize how clouded-over my thinking had been with concerns for how others are receiving a situation and my role in it. It is not in my nature to toss something out without careful forethought, or to trot out a truth that has even a small chance of wounding someone. But how often had the impulse led me to contort, diminish, or even erase myself?

At the end of the day, this is my one wild and precious life, and I do not want to experience it as a watered-down version of myself. I want to live it at full-strength. I am working to build up that muscle.

So when I write: “My girl, what would you have me know today?”

I hear back: “Remember to trust yourself.”

What would love have you know today?

One footnote I adored from Gilbert’s prompt: “Another way to tap into your direct line to Love is to use endearments for yourself. It is human nature to create sweet nicknames for people and animals we love but so rare that we apply them to ourselves. In the first few days of this public exercise, I was delighted to read letters here in which people referred to themselves as: my little pebble, my pal, my sweetest baby birdie, little piglet, my little pot sticker, honey, pookie, my little humbug, my Valkyrie, sweet pea, my little boy, my anxious little squirrel. Have fun with your endearments — try to be truly open without fear or embarrassment. In other words, let your guard down, my anxious little squirrels!”

How charming?! I chose the endearment “my girl,” because this is what my mother has always called me (“how’s my girl?” being her routine conversation starter on the phone), and I now use it with my own daughter. It always makes me feel closely held.

A little grid from the week:

01. Tilly’s new perch on my desk. I shared this photo on Instagram and had so many questions about the frame — a lucky Amazon find! The price is for a set of two! I put the second one in my daughter’s bedroom with a framed photo of Tilly she’d chosen.

02. On Sunday, I went for a three mile run in the cold, took a hot shower, and then applied Clarins’ Cryo-Flash Cream Mask, which I know many of you adore just as I do. It feels like ice when applied — chills the skin! — and leaves it rejuvenated. I’m addicted. The combo of cold-hot-cold was a delightful sensory triumvirate, too. Clarins has been running a Friends & Family promo that I hope will still be live at the time of publication — up to 25% off sitewide, plus free shipping.

03. Making my way through the Rita Dove anthology, but more importantly, able to do it outside with the slightly milder temps we’ve been enjoying! Here I am, sitting on our little wooden lawn bench, watching my children scoot, reading. I am wearing the Frank and Eileen Aspen set and my Sambas — I love the pastel combo.

04. Zara has the cutest finds for little boys right now! My son was in need of some more casual bumming-around-the-house-and-playing-outside clothes, so I picked up a bunch of pieces for him: dog leggings, “fun dude” tee, Keith Haring skateboard tee, plain pocket tee, joggers, striped tee.

05. Sweetgrass Home sent me the most adorable tissue box cover for my son’s room! I love finding ways to invite different playful patterns into his room. Sometimes it feels like girls get all the fun patterns! You can see more of his room, slowly coming together detail by detail, here. I also picked up this Amazon tissue box cover for my bedroom this week — the pattern looks like Schumacher!

06. I’m usually a color/pattern gal (you know my Lake obsession), but I have been loving this all-black ensemble from Lunya (pajama set + robe), too. The material is divinely soft. For some reason it makes me feel fabulous to wear after I’ve just blown my hair out?

07. A new nook in my writing studio, brought to you by this $119 wicker side table and this cute Anthro tray. I like to keep whatever I’m currently reading on its top — it’s first thing I see when I walk into the room, and it always invites me to read, or to think about what I’m reading.

08. Another gift from Sweetgrass Home: absolutely perfect spring napkins. The ric rac trim! These are the inspiration for my Easter tablescape. I’m imagining a confetti of differently colored tulips for the occasion. The green stems will go perfectly!

A final little shopping note: I have this dress in utility green, this tweed jacket, and this Mille tunic en route to me now. Also selected these jammies for my children for Easter! Now I must figure out what we’ll be wearing for the actual occasion…

And! Appointed is offering 20% off sitewide with code ANNIVERSARY. You might recall these are my favorite notebooks for hand-drafting, note-taking, list-making. They’re gorgeous, and you can have them personalized. The paper has a great weight to it — no bleed through.

P.S. Treat yourself to a mai tai!

P.P.S. What are we reading next?

P.P.P.S. The stove works for you — and other perspectives and secrets from a well-loved kitchen.