Farewell to Forever – Bike Snob NYC

Sometimes we must make difficult choices that run contrary to our emotions, if not the very fiber of our being. This is reflected in our art, to wit:

Also, in “The Talented Mister Ripley,” Matt Damon totally doesn’t want to kill his new boyfriend, but he does it anyway and so he sobs the whole time he’s strangling him to death:

Then of course there’s that “Simpsons” episode where Homer must eat his pet lobster:

Well, life imitated art this past weekend as I took my cherished Litespeed out back and gave it a cleaning:

See how its titanium tubing sparkles in the crepuscular light? This should have been a happy occasion, but in fact I was like Travis in “Old Yeller:”

No, the Litespeed had not acquired bike rabies after getting bitten by one of those Amazon e-bikes or something. In fact, it was in fine fettle, and very much had its whole life ahead of it:

Nevertheless, shortly after taking the photo above I packed it into a box, and by the time you’re reading this it will probably be en route to Classic Cycle from whence it came back in 2019. They say titanium is forever, but in my case it turns out “forever” means about five years.

So why would I rid myself of such a fine bicycle? Well, in my little world this is the Year of Pairing Down, and since divesting myself of several bicycles I’ve recently found myself confronting the fact that I was still over-road biked, with four (4) of them remaining. So one of them, I concluded, would have to go.

But which?

It couldn’t be the Milwaukee, which is simply too versatile:

It couldn’t be the Cervino, because whether it’s a vintage convertible or a lugged Italian road bike with Super Record, every middle-aged man with thinning hair needs a classic for parading around on Sundays:

And it couldn’t be the Faggin, since it was my wife’s bike and we have lots of fond memories of it, so that would be like getting rid of our wedding album:

And since we don’t even have a wedding album that’s all the more reason to keep it.

Oh, there’s also the Normcore Bike, but that doesn’t count since it’s now my elder son’s bike:

So that left the Litespeed:

Objectively it’s ridiculous to get rid of such a fine bicycle, but it feels almost wasteful to have a bike like this and not ride it all the time instead of only some of the time as I do now. Not too long ago I tried to address this buy giving it to my elder son, but at this point he has no real need for a fancy bike you can’t lock up outside, which is why he now rides the Normcore Bike. So back to Classic Cycle it goes.

If you think I’m making a big mistake, you’re probably right. In fact I’m sure you could take advantage of that mistake by buying the bike for yourself, so reach out to Paul at Classic Cycle (or to me if you like middlemen) and I bet we could make that happen.

As for me, it’ll be weird to be without a modern road bike with integrated shifters and stuff, though I could easily throw a pair on the Milwaukee at any time. Plus, with respect to the Faggin, despite its faded paint and its rusty chrome and hodge-podge of components it turns out the bike is fantastic, and I can’t believe I waited this long to steal it from my wife. Typically if I were heading over the George Washington Bridge to join the Parade of Freds I’d look to the Litespeed, but the Faggin is more than happy to assume that role, as I found out yesterday:

What I didn’t find out was why the this map includes a diagram of the male reproductive system:

Maybe it’s a PSA about bicycle saddles and numbness.